Breaking the News: Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

Divorce Lawyer in Colorado SpringsFor last few years, your marriage has been nothing but unhappy and you’ve been thinking about divorce. You are wondering what your life would be like if you are free. Maybe, you have also spoken to an attorney to know more the procedure and the things you can expect. You are sure that your marriage is over, but you haven’t told your spouse about your decision.

If you are certain about pursuing divorce, the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is break the news. The way you tell your spouse is important, as it can affect how the process will unfold. Colorado Springs divorce attorneys say you should consider how surprised they would be to know how long it would take them to accept your decision.

Consider the Timing

Choose an uninterrupted time and say it when both of you have a time to talk together in private. A good time is beginning of the weekend. When finding the right words to say, state your true feelings about the relationship and avoid blaming your spouse for all the things they have done wrong. Start with something like, “I have a difficult news to share,” or “I know this is hard for you to hear.”

Be Compassionate

When breaking the news, be as compassionate and direct as possible. Tell them that it is hard for you as well, but you honestly believe that your marriage is over. The aim is to part ways in a respectful way. If their response is critical and accusatory, it is much better to hear them out and do not defend yourself. Know that they're in pain or shock, and when they're finished talking let them know that you understand how they feel.

Take Your Safety into Account

If you’re not comfortable breaking the news in private, you may say it in front of a neutral third party like a therapist of a counselor. You can also choose a public space where people will be around. Note that you cannot always control how your spouse will take the news, but there are ways to lessen tension and anger, as well as promote understanding.

Your decision to divorce is a personal one. Don’t use it as a threat or blurt it out in the middle of an argument. When it your decision final, know how and when to tell your spouse to help both of you adjust and move on eventually.